the moon was really amazing last night – peeking over the bridgers.

i ran into the house to grab my cell phone to take a picture for this blog so i could talk about beauty in the midst of the storm – unaware that i had already missed three calls.  it rang a fouth time – i answered.

on the other line was a clearly shaken, but still well composed, shawn –  kevin’s work buddy that he had left with early yesterday morning to go four wheeling in the mountains with.  he said, “mckenzie?  this is shawn.”  i was all, “yahhh – i know – what’s up?”  i was expecting kevin’s voice on the other end – telling me he lost his phone or maybe that it had run out of battery.  no. bueno.

“kevin was involved in an accident this afternoon.  he rolled his four wheeler and was flown by helicopter to billings.  he hit his head on a rock and was unconscious… blah, blah, blah.”  obviously shawn didn’t really say that at the end – but that’s what my brain heard.  kevin wrecked, is totally unconscious and was life flighted to the hospital.  i just kept saying, “oh my god.  oh my god, no.  please no.”

billings is two hours from bozeman.  i was far away and thought my husband could be slipping away… or worse yet – already gone.  i loaded the kids into the car and tried to call brand and josie (my BIL & SIL) so that i didn’t have to take nora.  they told me they were in bozeman and i told them i’d drop nora off on my way out of town.  as soon as i got to them a bunch of people were there waiting for me to arrive.  as soon as my car was in park – they sprang into action.  nora out – carseat out – new driver of swagger wagon in – it was organized chaos.  josie was apparently going with me.  she was driving and would take care of g-mack while i was at the hospital.  so thankful for my family.  <3

10 minutes into our trip my cell phone rang – billings phone number.  “hello?” i whispered through tears fearing the worst…  “hello mckenzie, this is hope.  i’m a nurse at st. vincent’s hospital in billings and i’m taking care of your husband.  overall he’s doing ok.  he has a very serious concussion and his short term memory is completely gone but we expect it to fully return in 48-72 hours.  he’d like to talk to you – can i patch you to his room?”  “YES please!”  and then i heard his voice and my heart skipped a beat.  i was so scared i might never ever hear it again.  “i’m so sorry about this.  i’m so sorry about this.  what happened?”  “you were in an accident.  you hit your head.”  “oh…  i’m so sorry about this.  i’m so sorry about this.  what happened?”  “honey, i just told you… you were in an accident and you hit your head.”  “oh.  ok… i’m so sorry… what happened?”  ugh… around and around we went.  but it didn’t matter – because he was talking to me.  that meant he was alive and that’s all that mattered.

we pressed on and the phone rang again about an hour later – same dance around in circles.  his memory was totally shot.  i’d tell him, he’d say ok and two seconds later we’d do it all again.  it was actually really similar to what my mom does when she is in the middle of an “episode.”  the similarities were undeniable.

kev had a really rough night.  with a brain injury, they wake you up every 2 hours and ask you a series of questions, “what is your name?  what is your birthday?  do you know where you are?  do you know what happened to you?”  he failed the test a couple times early – but had em’ down like a champ by morning.

today we met with the doctor and learned that kev has a severe concussion and fractured his back in six places.  he is in a LOT of pain.  he’s taking morphine and it’s making him sick – but is relatively pain free.  he’s having trouble deciding the lesser of the two evils.  alas.  he’s starting to choose not to take it as the day goes on.

they’ve had him on his feet a couple times and he gets dizzy, nauseous and throws up.  he sweats and fainted early on this morning.  the pain is intense… but he’s trying his best.

he is in X-ray right now.  the docs are re-examining his spine and testing the stability of it.  they are also making sure that his fractures are low – not high.

i talked to shawn again this morning and he said that they were in the mountains on a road and kevin went around a corner where there were about 5-6 rocks that were about 5-6 inches in diameter.  he hit one of them with his right front tire and it sent him off the road into big boulders.  he flew off the four wheeler about 10 feet and bonked his head on a rock.

get this – 15 seconds after the accident happened guess who showed up?  a doctor and nurse coming down the mountain.  PRAISE GOD!  they stayed with kevin while shawn rode back down to a place where he could call 911 and get help.

then – after he was in the ER and they had a handle on what was wrong with him – Hope took over his care.  God keeps giving me Hope.  in this situation, in mom’s situation.  i’m grateful… because my hope, dear interwebz – was MORE than spent last night when i thought i was alone in this world.  without my best friend… my partner.  gah.

the doctors keep telling him he is “the poster child for a helmet ad” – who woulda’ thunk a sacry man would be the POSTER CHILD FOR A HELMET AD.  certainly not me.  but oh dear sweet lord am i thankful.  that helmet saved his life.  there is no doubt about it.

it surely put things into perspective… we are all dying ,aren’t we?  i mean – none of us get out of this world alive.  unless we have jesus.  and thank you GOD – we do.

we meet with a neurosurgeon later this afternoon to discuss the stability of the spine and what kind of recovery we are looking at.

please keep praying.  lord knows we all need it.

until tomorrow,

*m