today number 8 and 14 on the list ate bucket dust.

mom is becoming increasingly paranoid with the staff at highgate.  she’s convinced herself that one of the nurses is trying to poison her and so – she refuses medication from said nurse.  which – is her choice.  i’ve tried to reason with her and she gets very upset and accuses me of “siding with THEM.”  and so – i don’t anymore.  i’m not going to fight about these little things that just don’t matter in the big picture.  she takes her meds on the next shift if this one person is the one who tries to give it to her in the morning.  :banghead:

and… speaking of banging heads… her head bonk is healing better than i thought it would too.  and her face hasn’t developed a big bruise – just a little one.  thank you for praying for her.  🙂

today kev and i tried to get her to come to church with us – but she was just too sleepy.  she hasn’t been sleeping well at night for a very long time and hospice gave her a very mild sleeping pill that her liver can process and it has been helping her get some much needed sleep.  but – last night she decided to watch a little too much tv and didn’t take it until around midnight and just couldn’t get up this morning for church at 9.  so we went to church without her and picked her up to eat at the chinese buffet for lunch today.  she really enjoyed it.  and while i didn’t like the food (at all) – it was really fun to be able to cross something off the bucket list together.  her eyes lit up and she was happy… even if it was just for a few minutes – it was worth it.  i’m really gonna miss her when she’s gone.  even the crazy parts, i think.

after lunch mom, nora and grant needed a nap.  (wait… who am i kidding?!  kevin and i needed one too – but we didn’t get it.  LOL).  so we took mom home and let the littles and her get a little snooze.  then nora and i went over to her room and smacked down number 14 on the bucket list and i painted her and nora’s nails.   we used magnetic nail polish and it was really cool.  she doesn’t really like the color though, so if i get time i’ll re-do them next week.  her words, “wellllll… ummmm… at least they’re painted i guess.”  bwaahahaha.  can’t live with her – can’t live without her.

sadly… lately mom has been really paranoid with me too… she is very concerned that i’m moving and taking her stuff that i “don’t want her to have.”  which is completely untrue.  in fact – it’s the opposite of what’s really going on.  i’ve been making sure she has everything she wants (except ice trays for her mini-fridge in her room… for some reason i can. not. remember. this item.  ugh.).  it’s really hard though – she is very VERY difficult to please.  but i’m trying.  and trying.  and trying.

tomorrow i lined up a babysitter for g-mack and lula and i’m spending the whole day with mom and we are headed to yellowstone.  (we’ve been in montana almost 20 years and she’s never been… can you believe that?)  please be praying for safe travels and a good day for both of us.  i’m a little stressed about it given our most recent travels – but we are only going to be in the park a few hours and then we’re coming home.  we’re going to hit the big stuff – old faithful, some geysers, some smelly stuff and hopefully some animals.

still doing the best we can with what we’ve got…

thanks again for all the prayers and well wishes.  they really keep me going when the going gets tough.  you guys are the best.  <3

until tomorrow,

*m

sandra jo’s bucket list:

1. see the ocean (uhhh, check?  lol)
2. put my feet in the sand
3. go to the movie theatre and watch a scary movie and eat popcorn
4. buy a BUCKET of sacry popcorn at the sacry theater in whitehall.  extra butter and no salt.
5. have a beer + clamato juice
6. go on a harley ride
7. have my hair done at a fancy pants salon
8. have kenzie paint my nails
9. ride in a hot air balloon
10. get “property of big bubba” tattooed on my butt
11. have a GIANT 59th harley themed birthday party
12. stay alive until thanksgiving
13. stay alive until christmas
14. go eat at the chinese buffet
15. make a painting with nora
16. go to the children’s museum with nora and grant
17. eat a piece of plain cheesecake
18. eat spagetti at johnny carinos
19. visit the chocolate moose candy store with nora and grant
20. have kenzie make deviled eggs